30 Things To Ask Before Becoming A Stay At Home Mom

Thinking about becoming a stay at home mom soon?

Becoming a stay at home mom (SAHM) with your babies is a total dream job for some people. Pajamas, the comfort of your home, your sweet baby, endless snuggles, and precious time watching your little one grow up before your eyes… the possibilities are endless.

While all of this IS true, it’s easy to look past the not-so-glamorous parts of being a SAHM. Yep, you read that correctly. There ARE some things about staying home with little folks all day that may be… less than desirable.

Not sure what we’re talking about?

We’ve collaborated to come up with 30 questions you need to ask yourself before staying home with your kids and believe me… it ain’t all cuddles and cupcakes.  

 

1.) Are you actually prepared to be solely responsible for your child’s social, emotional, and physical well-being for a whopping 24 hours a day 7 days a week, foreseeably forever?

Just let that… sink in. And then report back to me from the comfort and quiet of your office.

2.) Do you like your house? Like… a lot?

If you get cabin fever easily and/or already want to remodel every room, STAYING INSIDE YOUR FOUR WALLS AS A CAREER may not be the path for you.

3.) Do you quite enjoy the finer things in life, such as the library or the art museum?

By “library” I mean toddler story time, and by “art museum” I mean the small gallery of children’s Crayon scribble hanging at the Chick-Fil-A.

4.) Do you believe in screen time?

Not the mom who would let your sweet littles even so much GLANCE at a device unattended? Welcome to Chapter One of “All The Things I Said I’d Never Do As a SAHM” because soon enough this question pops into your head…

5.) Have you wondered how much money YouTube Kids advertisers have made off of your kids’ views from their tablet?

(…I wonder if I should start a channel?)

6.) Is drinking cold coffee and eating cold food your thing?

Me too! I hear “room temperature” is ALL the culinary rage anyway.

7.) Is your current hair color ombre or balayage?

Nice. Us SAHMs call those “roots.” AKA – “I can’t afford a stylist anymore.”

8.)Do you have a close personal relationship with a specific brand of dry shampoo?

You will soon, boo.

9.) Do you really like wearing makeup?

Yeah, well this ain’t America’s Next Top Model sweetheart and your toddler needs Mickey Mouse Clubhouse NOW, so kiss those days… buh-bye.

10.) Do you have a super cute business casual wardrobe you’ve worked hard on acquiring over the tenure of your previous professional career?

Awesome!! That won’t be necessary here.

11.) Are you familiar with working lunches?

Not the kind where you exercise your brains with fellow professionals over Panera… I mean where you WORK at making lunch for your tiny human garbage disposals. 

12.) Would you consider yourself an efficient packer?

Until you’ve shoved an entire day’s worth of food, diapers, hygiene items, coloring books, and medical supplies into a diaper bag for a playdate… you haven’t truly lived.

13.) Are you familiar with the term, “play date?”

It’s when two new barely-acquainted SAHM’s gather their young together in a strange and uninviting environment to only talk about how quickly their babies learned to walk. It’s… swell.

14.) How do you feel about small talk with strangers and their children at the park?

No that’s not the humidity; it’s the social anxiety you’re choking on. #idontwantnewfriends

15.) Do you already have at least one other SAHM friend?

No? Then aforementioned  playground will TRULY be your SAHM “Tinder.” (Be prepared for a whole lotta swipe lefts.)

16.) Does sweeping the floor 5x a day sound ideal?

Working moms I KNOW you gotta perform maid service too, but at least SOME of those goldfish crumbs stay at daycare.

17.) Do you have a dog?

If not, YOU NEED ONE. (See above.)

18.) Do you absolutely f*cking love laundry?

Welcome to Thunderdome, my friend. 

19.) Can you handle your spirit being broken by a tiny terrorist daily?

When you’re doing everything right but they’re still not happy.

20.) Do you absolutely thrive on repeating yourself?

Do you absolutely thrive on repeating yourself?

21.) How do you like the sound of your own name? Like A LOT?

Mom. Ma. Mommy. Mom. Mum. Momma.

22.) How does being followed from sunup to sundown sound?

Oh snap. Is she behind me?

23.) Are you excited to find yourself in 10 minutes of silence?

Only to have that emotion changed to pure fear when you realize the kids are up to no good…

24.) Do you enjoy the soul-crushing moment your kid wakes up early from a nap?

Oh good, I had NO plans for the next 2 hours.

25.) Do you have it in you to still care for your children when you have the stomach flu?

Because eating breakfast and putting the clothes on Barbie is more important than trying to figure out how quickly Amazon can deliver Pedialyte Powder sticks and nausea medication.

26.) Does watching someone with no sense of urgency thrill you?

I’m convinced I’m actually raising a sloth.

27.) How creative can you be at earning some dollars on the side?

Because it’s either that or selling a kidney on the black market for your own stash.

28.) Does “room mom” or “head of the PTA” sound like a great way to spend your free time?

Well then crack open a delicious can of “I had no idea I quit my paying job for volunteer work,” because SAHM’s… teachers CAN’T WAIT to sign you up.

29.) Do you have response to the comment, “You’re so lucky you don’t work” ?

Then, “Go kick rocks, Karen” or “Shove it, Susan” ought to suffice.

30.) Do you love leggings?

Ok, even MY sarcasm can’t hide how satisfying to the core athleisure is as everyday attire. SAHM clothes – 1, working mom clothes – 0.

Well… we didn’t just make that up. The only reason we were able to write this post is because it’s things that have actually happened in the SAHM life. More awkwardly, it was only supposed to be ten questions… anyway!

Becoming a stay at home mom is a huge blessing. It’s fun and you get to “not miss” a moment of your child’s life but it can also be challenging. Being home alone with a child all day can certainly test your patience and make you wonder if you’re “cut out” for this. If you’re able and willing to stay home with your children, you can do it. If you’re a working mom, you’re awesome, too!

So, before you dive right in, consider some of our truths of becoming a stay at home mom. What are some revelations you’ve had if you’ve chosen to stay home with your kids?